cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
