STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
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He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
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I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
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