I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
