I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
