Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize