im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
