Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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