Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
