I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
