Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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