He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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