i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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