His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
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A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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