STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
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Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
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I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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