Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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