I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
