Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
