Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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