Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
