Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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