please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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