the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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