Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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