Who wears a wallet chain?!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
