I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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