I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
