So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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