By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Randomize
