and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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