can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
