Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You are a genius and a whore.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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