Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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