Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
