She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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