So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
