and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
