What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
it's like iHOP with fire
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
