you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
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