I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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