No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
