Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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