You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
