Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
sex in a hospital.. check
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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