i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
