It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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