What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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