goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
