The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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