Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
