I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Apparently you make a good broom.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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