he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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