i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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