I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
