Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
