Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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