I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
