i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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