I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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