things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
