Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
