Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
