i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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