Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
