Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She's the barista slut.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
