? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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