Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
