so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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