Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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