he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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